kpp228

    I was still thirteen years old, I was sent to court for the murder of the three dreck students at my high school, after waking up from the intensive care unit. I tried to tell them what really happened, but the judge wouldn't listen and thought I was crazy. Despite lacking specific evidence that I was the one who single handily killed three people effortlessly, I was sent to a juvenile detention center for the time being, until more evidence arrives to the case, if not enough evidence arrives to the case, I can get out Scott free. My time behind bars wasn't easy though, you know since I was in JAIL. I had no one to trust, share secrets with, lean to, or anything. I never felt so alone in my life since I was in the orphanage. The one thing that kept me going in this pit was Shrek. The very thought of watching his movies, seeing and holding his merchandise again brought me comfort and hope, once I get my freedom back. It was only a matter of time till I'm out of here.

October 16^th, 5 weeks have passed since my sentence, and it was 7 o'clock in the morning, shower time. I was very uncomfortable, but I had no choice, if I wanted to get out of here, I need to do whatever I can to survive, that includes doing as the police say when its appropriate. So I went inside. As I began to cleanse myself, I had the sudden feeling that all the inmates that were showering are all farquaads, as soon I inhaled an aroma of onions. I knew what was going on, thus I dropped the soap, on purpose. I then collapsed on my hands and knees, ready to be shreked; however it did attract a lot of unwanted partners. I got back on my feet, I then stole a wrench from a plumber when I ran into a corner, I was trapped and was about to defend myself from the perverts. A loud, ogrewhelming voice thundered through the showers, “What are doing with my swamp!”. It was Shrek and he crashed through one of the walls.

Shrek then takes his clothes off, flashing his 15 foot long, eshrekect dong for everyone to see, some could even see it through the fog. With it he bashes their brains in, stabs and cuts their bellies open, slashes their limbs off, and knocks them out. They were all dead, even the plumber just to rid of any witnesses. There was blood and buts everywhere, on the floor, on the walls, even on the ceiling. Shrek then looks back at the wall he crashed through, and yells “Alright laddies, time to come out now!”. Donkey, Pinocchio, the Gingerbread man, the three little pigs, the blind mice, the big bad wolf, Puss in boots, and the all fairy tales of Far Far Away began to fill the showers and took their clothes off, gathering for my shrekening. I bend over again, offering myself for the big and mighty ogrelord and his companions, every single one of them.

It exploded into a colossal ogrery. His big, woody felt like 50 inches of green in my rectum, and Donkey's hairy shaft was in my mouth. Never in my whole life have I felt all the layers running through my flesh and soul, riddled with unlimited amounts of aches and thrill, I'm screaming in agony as I push against both of their forces. Shrek and Donkey filled my orifices with their love within 5 minutes, but I wasn't done yet, I wanted to have amazing shrex with all of them. They each have their turn, and they filled me. They even used the limbs as dildos to shove up my ass and mouth, and they've used all the blood in the showers as lube to ease some of the pain. As puss in boots and the BBW were sucking my dick, and while the gingerbread was fingering my anus, and as I was sucking on Shrek's dick, I passed out with onion juice all over my naked body. And the massive ogrery stopped, and Shrek carried me back home and put me to bed, I knew they would bust me out sooner or later!

Before he left through my window, I asked “Wait Shrek! How did you get me out?”. “Aye, we broke in because we felt a disturbance in the layers, and saw you in danger. Nobody shrekes you and my children but me and my laddies”. “Damn right” I replied. “Yeah, we have to talk.” Shrek told me. “What is it?”. “I will no longer be a part of your life in person anymore, you have my merchandise and movies to remember me by.” he answered. “But daddy, how can I go on without you or your wonderful onion sauce?” “Don't worry, I'll be watching you in spirit. Remember, I'll always be with you, always. The layers will guide you. You'll figure out how to spread the word of the ogrelord.”. He gives me a special kind of onion that evacuates from his anus, making him scream a holy and mighty ogre roar as he shits it out. It contains the ingredient to his onion sauce inside and it is covered in swamp matter. I'm suppose to open each layer once a year, and it has five layers, once I turn eighteen, I will have know how to spread Shrek's love ogre the map as his prophet. He then leaves through my window and flies into the sunset like Superman. Shrek is love, Shrek is life.  

PLEASE NOTICE THAT I AM NO WAY OBSESSED WITH SHREK IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, THIS STRICTLY A PARODY DEDICATED TO A VIRAL MEME I FOUND HILARIOUS. SHREK AND ITS FRANCHISE BELONGS TO DREAMWORKS.